Living and Giving

“If You Don’t Love Me, It Does Not Matter, Anyway I Can Love For Both Of Us.” – Stendhal

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“If you don’t love me, it does not matter, anyway I can love for both of us.” – Stendhal

Sometimes we face a disagreement.

The situation might be painful.

I had a very, very cherished friend. There was a situation where she sent a very angry email. It hurt me deeply.

But I have a choice.

I can retaliate in kind…I can shut the person off, and I can be \”rightly offended.\”

Why? What good will it do?

Instead, let\’s take Stendhals\’ beautiful admonition:

We can be larger than the issue. Take a stand to love yourself, and love the other person.

You have a choice. Take the upright road. Don\’t contribute more anger, or lack of forgiveness to the world\’s thought. Instead, your contribution to the world can be Love, Love, Love.

Love for Both of You.



Marie-Henri Beyle, known better by his pen name Stendhal, was a French author born in 1783. Scholars in general believe he borrowed this pen name from the German city of Stendal in homage to Johann Joachim Winckelmann. He attained a Jesuit education and was most close with his sister, with whom he corresponded for years. Stendhal’s writing reached the height of his popularity long after his death. His work diverted from the popular Romantic style toward a more realistic ideology, and helped jumpstart Romantic Idealism; he is considered one of the earliest and foremost practitioners of realism. This fusion of, and tension between, clear-headed analysis and romantic feeling is typical of Stendhal\’s great novels.

Stendhal was very involved on the political front, having served in Napoleon\’s army. After he left the army, he moved to Italy and served as the French consul at Trieste and Civitavecchia. He had a deep love for Italy. His novel The Charterhouse of Parma, written in 52 days, is set in Italy, which he considered a more sincere and passionate country than Restoration France. Another famous novel includes The Red and the Black. Much of his work focused on  on social conflicts arising in the pre and post revolutionary France in which he was born and lived. He was able to astutely analyze characters inner world and feelings. He also depicted the salons, theatres, and museums of Paris. Stendhal was an avid fan of music, particularly the works of the composers Cimarosa, Mozart and Rossini. He wrote a biography of Rossini, Vie de Rossini (1824), now more valued for its wide-ranging musical criticism than for its historical content.

In On Love he distinguished four species – the physical, the tasteful, love from vanity, and love from passion, which he noted is the source of the highest happiness.